{"id":427,"date":"2017-10-05T11:16:06","date_gmt":"2017-10-05T11:16:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revolutionapparel.me\/?p=427"},"modified":"2024-05-01T23:09:50","modified_gmt":"2024-05-01T23:09:50","slug":"im-in-a-domestic-violence-situation-what-should-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/revolutionapparel.me\/index.php\/2017\/10\/05\/im-in-a-domestic-violence-situation-what-should-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m in a Domestic Violence Situation. What Should I Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Woman<\/p>\n

(Image: Silvia Sala<\/a>)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

A while back I received an email from my client C:<\/p>\n

\n

During our recent session, you asked me when was the first time I feared not being heard or being mocked. I’m currently introspecting about this.<\/p>\n

There’s a moment from my past that\u00a0I don’t know if I experienced it or not… I wonder if I had witnessed my father beating up my mother before.<\/p>\n

This morning, when I was in the shower, I got my answer. I did witness it (this was many years ago). However, I did\/said nothing\u00a0to help my mom at that time. I wanted to tell my dad to stop but I couldn’t speak up because I felt that I wouldn’t be heard and\u00a0also, I\u00a0was too small\u00a0then. I think this is the root cause<\/a>\u00a0of my fear. Realizing this made me feel guilty for not helping her. I felt so helpless that I cried.<\/p>\n

This is a terrible memory. What should I do? I’m afraid of situations of violence towards women and I think it’s too much for me to handle.<\/p>\n

Do you have some precious advice for me?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Subsequently I had a few exchanges with C which gave me more insight into the situation. Apparently her dad had been hitting her mom since C was a kid (it’s not clear whether it’s still going on since she no longer lives with her parents), and she witnessed many of these incidents. C never told anyone about this nor\u00a0interjected except for one time. However, this did not solve the problem as the abuse continued after that.<\/p>\n

When C told me this, I immediately empathized with her. This is not an easy situation to be in. On one hand, she loves her mom and wants to stand up for her. On the other hand, there is her dad, whom she cares\u00a0about too, but who had been harming her mom. And then\u00a0there are other struggles and considerations on what to do. Call the police? But what if others get wind of this shameful incident? Stop my dad? But what if he hits me too? Talk to my mom? But what if she denies it? But what if this continues?<\/em><\/p>\n

These didn’t change my advice for her though, which is that\u00a0domestic abuse\u00a0should never be\u00a0tolerated or allowed to continue in any form<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Domestic Violence Statistics<\/h2>\n

Domestic violence<\/a> (also domestic abuse,\u00a0spousal abuse, family violence) is a pattern of violent or abusive behavior by one person against another in a domestic context, such as in a marriage or during cohabitation.\u00a0Allow me to share some stats on domestic violence from\u00a0National Coalition Against Domestic Violence<\/a>:<\/p>\n